Truthful Thursday

Can't believe it is already Thursday again! This week I am getting "real" about losing weight from baby #2. I was walking through TJ Maxx yesterday and I said out loud "before kids I could walk in here and wear anything off the rack in size 0 or extra small." - I wouldn't dare do that now. First of all I am no longer a 0 or extra small, try a 3/4 small/medium. I know anyone reading this is thinking "she has problems that isn't big." I know more than anyone that I have problems.
It began when I was 17 after going through a break-up and losing a lot of weight, I realized that I liked being thin, REALLY liked it. So I joined a gym, took diet pills, ate maybe once a day, binged and purged (it's truthful Thursday so your getting the ugly truth). I did this for a good 4 or 5 years. I felt good about myself, but was obsessed with everything that went into my mouth. It got OLD very OLD. I began to get lazy and couldn't keep up doing all of those things listed above, so I stuck to working out daily for an hour and a very low cal diet. Still thought about food wayyyy too much.
Then I got pregnant with Logan when I was 25. Of course I worried about gaining too much weight, but realized I had to gain weight to have a healthy baby, so I quit working out and ate whatever my heart desired. I gained 45 lbs!!!! I went from 105 to almost 150 lbs! I didn't care, that was until my little bundle of joy was here and I left the hospital weighing 135 lbs! That was not going to work for me. First of all it was summer time and I had to go back to work in a few months so the dieting was full speed ahead. I was nursing so I couldn't go too much, but I really cut back the calories and started working out again. When I went back to work I stopped nursing and really dropped the calories. I managed to get back down to 107 lbs, - I could wear ALL of my old clothes, the next day I found out I was pregnant with Austin!
Again I wanted a healthy baby so I no longer worked out and I ate. However this time I ate a little less I only gained 32 lbs. After Austin was born and I was home from the hospital very sick I might add, I dropped down to 115 in about 3 weeks. I have managed to lose a few more lbs, some days I am 110 and some days I am 112. But more than the number on the scale, my body is different. My hips a bit wider, stretch marks on areas that I would rather not discuss, my butt is lower along with other things.
I joined Gold Gym in January and haven't been yet. I have been known to eat chocolate cake for breakfast and then eat mac n cheese for lunch and a cheeseburger for dinner, I like cooking sometimes(now that I am home with lots of time) and then sitting down for dinner to enjoy. I often have a snack before bedtime. All of these things I do now I would have NEVER of done in my early 20's.
I want to workout, not for weight issues, but to feel good about myself, to be strong, and to be healthy, however I need to get motivated. I want to eat healthy to pass along healthy habits to my boys. I don't want to be obsessive about food and working out so I am going to take it one day at a time, starting Monday:) My 28th bday is next Friday and I want to be able to say that I workout at least 3 times a week and have healthy eating habits before I turn 29! I'll keep you posted...