Knowing

I've heard people talk about whether or not they would want to know if something was going to happen to them if they had a choice.  It's kind of like what I am going through - I still don't know how to answer.  Knowing there is a potentially big problem that could occur - hemorrhaging, hospital bed rest, early delivery, hysterectomy, is making me CRAZY.  EVERY night as I am laying down to go to bed, my mind begins to race.  What if I start bleeding now?  Will I know, will I make it?  How will I prepare for a long stay in the hospital?  How will the boys take it?  Will it change them?  How will my husband "do it all" from work to the house to making sure the kids are taken care of?  What are the exact dates for the hospital stay?  What is the new due date?  Will the baby be ok?  Will she be in the NICU, how long?  I am talking about tossing and turning crazy.  I make sure I tell Brian to check on me multiple times.  I have never been so scared in all my life.  I am terrified of something happening.  Each time I go to pee (which is a lot right now) I say a prayer that there isn't any blood.  So with all of that, I wish I didn't know right now.  Its too soon.  Most women dont' find out until their 20 week ultrasound, but we chose to have the first trimester ultra screen ultrasound b/c our insurance covered it, so why not?  Why not?  Because the only time I don't think about it is when I am busy with the boys.  I am terrified to buy anything baby - I need to get a move on her room, but as soon as I see something I like, I freeze up.  The good thing about knowing early is I am closely monitored.  I will have several ultrasounds, I know what to do if I spot or cramp - head to the nearest ER.  We also have the time to prepare and make arrangements for the boys.  So knowing does have a few pluses, not many but maybe the most important ones - saving my life, saving the baby's life, and making sure the boys are taken care of.  Well I am 14 weeks pregnant in 30 minutes:)  14 weeks until I may be living at Northside when I am 28 weeks pregnant.  14 weeks doesn't seem like a long time, spending time with my family, planning for our new baby, and lots of dr. appts will fill the days quickly.  My tired pregnant body is ready to sleep, I hope my mind is as well.  I am off to say my prayers - they are a bit longer these days.

Thank you!

Thank you for all the face book messages, blog messages, emails, phone calls, and texts.   Your thoughts and prayers mean the world to us.  As for the blood, it will probably not be for several weeks until I know when and where family and friends can donate.  I have been told it doesn't last longer than 5 weeks and I am scheduled to deliver sometime in April.  So I will be in touch.  Thank you again. 

Today I feel great.  Tired but great.  It's strange to have something without any symptoms.  I called my ask my doctor if I could go walking or do yoga.  I was told that I can not do anything.  No physical exertion.  BLAH.  Oh well, maybe this will be what keeps me out of the hospital earlier.  Just spent the day with the boys and my friend Lisa came over.  I am trying to enjoy the little things like the laundry and unloading the dishwasher, because soon I won't be around to do those things.  I am also soaking up all the Logan and Austin time I can - even when they are driving me crazy.  I will wish someone was driving me crazy in a few months. 

Answers to Our Questions

Today we met with my OB, Dr. Heath Graham. Hard to process all we were told, but after a few hours I am becoming more at peace with it all.  Dr. Graham answered all of our questions and more as we sat with him today. 

Have you treated accreta before?
Yes, Dr. Graham has treat accreta and preaccreta several times.  He developed the protocol for delivery with accreta/preaccreta along with colleagues at the hospital I will deliver at.  He has never lost a patient or a baby.  Though the mortality rate is 25% - a number I will not think about after this post.  I will be ok, this baby will be ok, our family will be ok.

Risks to self during pregnancy; anything I can do or not do:
No sex and no heavy lifting from this point on.

Will I end up on bed rest? When?
Yes at 28 weeks.  At 28 weeks I will be hospitalized and monitored.  This is because, if I was to hemorrhage at home (which often occurs around this time in patients with Placenta Accreata) I wouldn't make it to the hospital.  I need to be where medical care is and blood is. 

How is the pregnancy monitored?
Through ultrasound.  In 3 weeks I have another ultrasound.  Then 3 weeks later I will have an MRI and another Ultrasound

Premature delivery?
The baby will be delivered at 34 weeks.  There are risks if I go into labor, so that is why a c-section will be scheduled that early so I don't go into labor.

Will I have a hysterectomy?
Yes, to get the placenta out

What is the c-section going to be like? Will I be awake?
We didn't get to this

My blood type is O+; blood is needed.  A blood bank will be set up.  I would rather I get blood from people I know.  However with O+ I can only get O+ blood.  O+ can give blood to anyone with any blood type but can only get O+.
So if you are O+ and are willing to give blood, please let me know.  If you are out of state I am going to contact Red Cross this week and find out how blood can be donated on my behalf.  Thanks!

Keep the prayers coming.  Pray for me and baby girl, but also for the boys and Brian.  It is going to be a VERY difficult time when I go into the hospital.

Tomorrow's OB Appt

Tomorrow Brian and I meet with my OB to discuss Placenta Accreta further.  Never in a million years did I think I would be making a list of questions like the following to discuss with my doctor.

Questions I have for OB about Placenta Accerta

Have you treated accreta before? Outcomes

Risks to baby during pregnancy

Risks to self during pregnancy; anything I can do or not do

Will I end up on bed rest? When?

How is the pregnancy monitored?

Chance that baby won’t make it?

Chance I won’t make it?

Third trimester bleeding

Premature delivery?

Will I have a hysterectomy?

What is the c-section going to be like? Will I be awake?

What is the plan?

Resources for me to read more about this

I want to know everything.  I need to know everything.  I have read all I could find on this condition.  I found more than I probably should have.  I have read horrific stories about premature delivery at 28 weeks and the baby not making it and the mother having a hysterectomy never to conceive again.  I go there in my mind and can't come back.  I went shopping today to buy something pink.  I came home empty handed.  Standing in the store looking at dresses, not sure of the outcome, I couldn't buy anything.  Please pray for us.

A Perfect Song for Our Daughter

  We are thrilled to announce that we will be welcoming a baby girl in May 2011!   

Everything she sees

she says she wants.

Everything she wants

I see she gets.

That's my daughter in the water

everything she owns I bought her

Everything she owns.

That's my daughter in the water,

everything she knows I taught her.

Everything she knows.

Everything I say
she takes to heart.

Everything she takes

she takes apart.

That's my daughter in the water

every time she fell I caught her.

Every time she fell.

That's my daughter in the water,

I lost every time I fought her.

Yea, I lost every time.

Every time she blinks

she strikes somebody blind.

Everything she thinks

blows her tiny mind.

That's my daughter in the water,

who'd have ever thought her?

Who'd have ever thought?

That's my daughter in the water,

I lost everytime I fought her

Yea, I lost every time.

 
(Daughter by Loudon Wainwright III)

Placenta Accreta

I had the first trimester ultrasound screening today.  The baby is completely healthy, thank you God for blessing us with a healthy third baby.  We do know the gender!  I will share it soon.  However we did get some not so great news that I am still processing and going over and over.  I have Placenta Accreta.  In short my placenta attached to my c-section scar.  It occurs in 1 in 2500 pregnancies or 25% of women that have c-sections develop this condition.  Today was the initial diagnosis.  I have already been contacted by my OB to come in on Monday to discuss this further.  For now here is some info on Placenta Accreta taken from the American Pregnancy Association. 

The placenta normally attaches to the uterine wall, however there is a condition that occurs where the placenta attaches itself too deeply into the wall of the uterus. This condition is known as placenta accreta, placenta increta, or placenta percreta depending on the severity and deepness of the placenta attachment. Approximately 1 in 2,500 pregnancies experience placenta accreta, increta or percreta.



What is the difference between accreta, increta or percreta?
The difference between placenta accreta, increta or percreta is determined by the severity of the attachment of the placenta to the uterine wall.


Placenta Accreta occurs when the placenta attaches too deep in the uterine wall but it does not penetrate the uterine muscle. Placenta accreta is the most common accounting for approximately 75% of all cases.


Placenta Increta occurs when the placenta attaches even deeper into the uterine wall and does penetrate into the uterine muscle. Placenta increta accounts for approximately 15% of all cases.

Placenta Percreta occurs when the placenta penetrates through the entire uterine wall and attaches to another organ such as the bladder. Placenta percreta is the least common of the three conditions accounting for approximately 5% of all cases.

 What causes placenta accreta?
The specific cause of placenta accreta is unknown, but it can be related to placenta previa and previous cesarean deliveries. Placenta accreta is present in 5% to 10% of women with placenta previa.
A cesarean delivery increases the possibility of a future placenta accreta, and the more cesareans, the greater the increase. Multiple cesareans were present in over 60% of placenta accreta cases.


What are the risks of placenta accreta to the baby?
Premature delivery and subsequent complications are the primary concerns for the baby. Bleeding during the third trimester may be a warning sign that placenta accreta exists, and when placenta accreta occurs it commonly results in a premature delivery. Your healthcare provider will examine your condition and use medication, bed rest and whatever else necessary to help continue the pregnancy towards full term.

What are the risks of placenta accreta to the mother?
The placenta usually has difficulty separating from the uterine wall. The primary concern for the mother is hemorrhaging during manual attempts to detach the placenta. Severe hemorrhaging can be life threatening. Other concerns involve damage to the uterus or other organs (percreta) during removal of the placenta. Hysterectomy is a common therapeutic intervention, but the results involve the loss of the uterus and the ability to conceive.

What is the treatment for placenta accreta?
There is nothing a woman can do to prevent placenta accreta, and there is little that can be done for treatment once placenta accreta has been diagnosed. If you have been diagnosed with placenta accreta your healthcare provider will monitor your pregnancy with the intent of scheduling a delivery and using a surgery that may spare the uterus. It is particularly important to discuss this surgery with your doctor if you desire to have additional children.

 Unfortunately, placenta accreta may be severe enough that a hysterectomy may be needed. Again, it is important to discuss surgical options with your healthcare provider.

Christmas Cards, Calendars, and Gift Tags

Next week is Thanksgiving, so over the weekend I will be putting away all of the fall decor and dragging in all of the Christmas Rubbermaid bins.  This time next week it will begin to look a lot like Christmas at the Harris' house!! I love this time of year and even more so this year as the boys are really getting into seeing all things Christmas minus Santa (that's an entire different post). Along with putting up our decorations, I will also begin  preparing our Christmas Cards. I love sending Christmas Cards almost as much as I love receiving them.  I always send Christmas Cards with our family picture.  I am thinking of adding a little something to this year's Christmas card, we'll have to see if I can keep a secret that long:)


I have also found a fun way to display all the cards we get.  I love having them up through Christmas and the New Year.  I don't write one, but love reading other families Christmas letters.  I feel like my blog is enough of a letter. 

This year our cards will be coming from Shutterfly.  Shutterfly is so user friendly and I love ALL of the card designs available.  It really is easy as 1-2-3.   Choose the card, drop your family picture in it, and order!  Before I order I love the "preview" feature so I can see what our card will actually look like. 

Here are a few of my favorites.  What do you think?

Need a gift idea?  Why not use all those photos that are saved to your computer and create Photo Calendars.  I bet some special people in our life will be getting one of these this year (I better get to work)!

Something else that I LOVE and will be using this year from Shutterfly is the Christmas Gift Tags.  OMG I am bananas about these.  They are so cute and will make gift wrapping go a little quicker using pre-made gift tags!  Each gift will have the "finish" look by using these gift tags.  I am so excited, can you tell?!  I am going to use one of these on the gifts we give this year.

There are several cute designs, it will be hard to chose.  However I need to get on the ball and get the cards, calendars, and gift tags ordered.  When you get a Christmas card, calendar, and or gift from our family just act surprise if you see one of these designs again :)  It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas and Logan is singing the entire song of Jingle Bells as I write this!  If I can get him on video I will post it, so sweet to experience Christmas through a children's eyes. 

{Legal Disclaimer: all opinions are mine, but I was offered 50 free cards from Shutterfly in exchange for this review. If you would like more information about this promotion, click HERE.}

Reflections of Motherhood

I would add
"Its okay to cry"
"Time passes to quickly"
 "You will wonder how you ever lived without your child"
 "I still want/need my mom"

Tomorrow's Ultrasound

Tomorrow I have the Ultra-Screen Ultrasound.  This is an ultrasound that is newly offered that has to be done between weeks 11.5 and 13.6.  Tomorrow I am 12 Weeks 5 Days.  We have been told that more than likely the perinolgist will be able to tell us the sex of the baby.  However, tonight my heart is heavy and I no longer care at all what the sex is.  I pray that the baby is ok and is growing normally.  Of course we were anxious to hear the gender, but now I am just anxious to hear the dr. say everything is ok.  A friend of mine (I actually taught her son), lost her baby boy today from Trisomoy 13.  Trisomy 13 and 18 are several chromosomal disorders which cause profound mental retardation and multiple birth defects.  Most babies with trisomy 18 or 13 live no longer than one year.  Jedi, was 13 days old. 

From Elizabeth's blog "jedidiah joseph was diagnosed at 20 weeks gestation with trisomy13, a chromosomal malformation that is not "compatible with life" and manifests itself in various ways. he is our seventh child and is already such a blessing. he has already touched so many. please pray for him and our family as we travel along this new path God has laid for us."  http://trisomyjourney.blogspot.com/

For the past 13 days, Elizabeth, Jedi, and their entire family have been on my mind and in our daily prayers.  My heart hurts for them tonight as they prepare for Jedi's funeral tomorrow.

11.5 Week OB Appt

November 12, 2010 was a busy day.  I went and had my hair done - something I LOVE to do and so look forward to.  Then the boys and I headed to my 11.5 week OB appt.  It is really called the OB Workup appt, where lots of papers and pamphlets are given (from nurses), lots of paperwork is filled out (by me), blood is taken (mine), and the baby's heartbeat is heard.  I knew it would be a long appt so the boys an I went prepared with the mini dvd player, snacks, drinks, and books.  When we went back to the room the nurse went over all the papers and then had me lay down to hear the heartbeat.  She couldn't find it.  After several tries she said we needed to go the ultrasound room and Dr. Graham would be in.  My only thought was something is wrong and I am alone with the boys.  I really had to keep it together though I was on the verge of losing it.  I called Brian and let him know and told me I would call as soon as the dr. examined me.  Dr. Graham immediately found the baby and the baby's heartbeat and the boys and I saw it on the ultrasound screen.  Again a sound that never gets old - your baby's heartbeat.  After an examination he promised to get some cool 3D images for me.  Well of course I said "just show me the penis!"  He is so great he looked around and zoomed in on the area and said......
Well I'm not telling yet.  I have an ultrasonic ultrasound (checks baby out very closely) Friday the 19th.  I think we are going to wait until Christmas to tell family and friends .  I think it is a fun surprise.  We'll see if I can wait that long.  Until then make your guess in the gender poll - its located in the top right corner.  Healthy and growing strong is all that we want. 

Pictures taken at 11.5 Weeks Appt

Saying Goodbye

On Friday November 5, 2010, my grandma, Catherine Cappellino passed away.  She has been sick for a while now.  My mom went to live with her in August to take full time care of her.  Something I know she will always be glad she did.  I took the boys to visit her in early August, I am so happy I did this.  I learned of her death in the early afternoon, by that night, I had a flight booked and my bag packed to leave Saturday morning. 
However before I left Austin became very sick.  He woke up choking on stomach acid and drainage from his nose:(  The choking, gagging, in and out episodes occurred several times within an hour.  Brian was on his way home from work, but knew we needed help.  I called 911 and dad.  Within in minutes they were bother at my house.  I knew if I had to go to the hospital with Austin someone needed to stay with Logan.  Thank God for having family close by.  After about an hour the paramedics determined that Austin was ok, just having difficulty getting rid of nose drainage and that he was sick.  They recommended that we keep him upright for the remainder of the night.  I was very scared, but thankful Brian was home by then to help.  The next morning we left for the airport at 8am.  I cried most of the way, since it was the first time leaving both Brian and the kids.  Before I knew it I was eating my bagel and drinking my coffee on the airtran flight.  I arrived to Meadville Saturday afternoon and was glad to be with my mom.  The rest of my family came on Sunday. 
Sunday was my grandmother's viewings where we saw a lot of family and old friends.  Monday was the funeral and lunch afterwards.  Before I knew it I was back on a plane headed home to my boys.  It was a long sad weekend.  I was exhausted.  It took me several days to recover.  A comforting thought I have had is that my grandma and grandpa are back together again holding hands and talking in Italian in Heaven.  Saying goodbye is never easy, but knowing we be reunited one day with friends and family that have gone before us eases the saddness a bit.

The following are pictures from our visit in August.  Pictures taken at my grandma's and then at the fair.  I am so glad we have these pictures.



New Look and New URL

As our family is growing loganandbaby.blogspot.com no longer seems to fit as the address to our blog. So along with a fun new look the URL has changed. If you have Harris Happenings saved to your favorites you will need to delete it, go to the new address, and then save to your favorites. Sorry for the confusion, hope you will still continue to read about the Harris Happenings! The new URL is:

http://www.megbrianandthree.blogspot.com

A special thank you to Leslie for our new blog design as well as changing the URL for us:) Her info is on the side of my blog or go directly to her website.

10 Weeks Down Only 210 Days To Go

30 weeks left sounds a lot shorter than 210 days!  Not even out of the first trimester and I am already so excited to meet this little peanut.  Boy or girl, we still don't know.  I had a dream last night I was at Nordstrom picking out baby girl clothes.  Dresses, tons of dresses.  Can you imagine?  I really can't.  I am almost convinced its a boy.  I am great with another boy.  I grew up with lots of brothers and their friends.  I have a lot of boy stuff.  I love the bond I have with my boys.  I am a boy mommy as of now, in 210 days who knows; maybe I will still be a boy mommy of 3 or maybe I will have a daughter and two sons.  The unknown is exciting, but not exciting enough not to find out.  We may find out before Christmas.  Next week I go for my 11 week OB workup.  Here is my 10 week update from the Bump.com

Your Pregnancy: Week 10

Notice a network of tiny blue veins crisscrossing your already achy breasts and (sorry) disappearing waistline? Though you may not love the new look, these veins carry the extra blood needed to nourish your burgeoning baby. You also might see the effects of pregnancy on your face -- in the form of major breakouts, that is. (Thanks, hormones.)
 
Baby's now the size of a prune!
With bones and cartilage starting to form and vital organs beginning to function, baby is making major progress. Body length will almost double in the next three weeks, and arm joints are now working. (Soon, legs will start working too.)

Austin's 2nd Birthday Party Part 1

On Austin's actual birthday, October 15, 2010, we had a small party at Chuckee Cheese with our families.