Addison's 2 Month Well Check

*I am behind with A's birth story and first month.  I will get to it this week, its my goal:)

At two months Addison is weighing in at 10lbs 11.7oz.  She is 21 inches long and perfect head to toe:)  Of course she had her immunizations which made me very sad, however thanks to Logan and Austin I was distracted by the normal fight over the I-Pad.  Ever taken 3 kids under 4 to the pediatrician for a well visit - its not for the weak that is for sure and people wonder how I lost all my baby weight in two months (all except 5 lbs, but if I ever weigh 105 again I will be shocked).  All Brian could say was "I don't know how you do it."  He actually does it better than me at times.  He is a great dad our kids are very lucky to have him.
2 Months went by quickly and Addison's personality is starting to shine.  She is smiling all the time, giggles, coos, makes razz sounds, and gets her tongue going like she wants to say something.  Addison is mesmerized by ceiling fans and for some reason the rod iron piece we have hanging on the wall.  She sleeps through the night and has been since she was 3 weeks old.  She loves her bouncy seat and LOVES her swing.  Addison is not a fan of getting dressed or getting out of the bath tub.  She loves her baths but hates getting out.  Addison loves bottles so much so that she rarely wants to nurse, but she wants breast milk.  So mommy is pumping, trying nipple shields, letting her nurse when she wants (usually at night).  I had saved up 75 bags of breast milk because in the beginning I had some nipple issues (bleeding) so I had to pump and I was pumping more than she needed.  So I have a lot milk saved but we are also introducing her to formula. She doesn't care as long as she gets fed when she is hungry and that is usually the only time she cries. Addison drinks 4-5 oz of milk every 2 1/2 to 3 hours during the day.  Her last feeding is 9 or 10 and then she will sleep 7 or 8 hours.
Addison, your brothers are in love with you.  I thought the newness of a baby in the house would wear off - oh no!  Austin wakes up in the morning wanting to know where his baby is.  They both kiss her, hug her, hold her, try and play with her, give her toys, etc. 
She goes everywhere with me.  I did leave all three kids home with Brian to go to Publix and felt sad until I was home again.  She's our baby girl and we love her to pieces.  Oh and dressing her and all the bows and accessories NEVER gets old.  I love getting her dressed every day.  I bought her baby nail polish (had no clue there was specific nail polish for babies) so we can paint her toes - pink of course! 

 We brought the play mat out at 2 months:)

 The evening of immunizations...sad girl

 Baths make everything better

 Loves her swing just like her brothers did

 Se reminds me of Logan here

 Happy 2 months beautiful girl

 So in love with this baby

2 Weeks Later

Last Friday a week after my initial visit to my dr. I sat down with my dr. to talk about where I was at.  He said at my initial visit he was close to putting me in the hospital and I was 12, 15 being the worst he's seen.  Well at least I wasn't the worst.  He began by asking how I felt based on that scale.  I stated I felt I was a 7. Able to take care of my babies but not ready for social settings.  He felt like I was headed in the right direction.  I thanked him, really thanked him - he saved me (whether it be saved my life or took the pain away - he saved me).  Joy has reentered my life.  I am still on a boat load of medicine.  Not sure how long for, but as far as I am concerned I remember all too well sitting in the corner of my bedroom rocking and bawling for hours - I'll take the meds over that any day. 

I just really really want to thank so many people who have sent me text messages, phone messages, facebook messages daily to check on me and to see if I needed anything.  I will never forget your kindness and support. 

Tomorrow I visit my dr. again.  Kind of in the same place a 7.  I think it has a lot to due with Addison not nursing only taking bottles so I would be pumping and giving her bottles around the clock.  It was too much.  Turns out sweet girl has thrush (we found out today).  So she is in a lot of pain to nurse and taking the bottle is easier.  So she is on medicine and hopefully this will workout and we can get back to nursing.  I can't go on pumping around the clock with my two sweet boys that need me, so we will see how this turns out. 

Updates and pictures - I PROMISE!  Coming soon.  Thank you again xoxo

Present Again

So it's been a week since I saw my dr. and started takimg medicine. It hasnt been an easy week especially adjusting to the meds. However the outpour of support from family and friends has deeply touched me and helped to get me through the day. I know it is difficult to understand postpartum depression If you have never gone through it. My previous post was a reflection on how I felt. Each woman feels differently after having a baby hormones play a huge role as well. I am not suicidal but stand by the statement that my I was in so much emotional/mental pain I needed it to go away I couldn't live one more minute the way I felt and I didn't. I took the right steps and got the medical help I needed. The support from our family and friends means so much to me and Brian....the dinners, cards, Facebook messages, texts, errands, offers to do just about anything we needed. Thank you really thank you for the continuous love you have shown.

The past two days I have been very present (finally). I have spent the days with just my kids as Brian was working long hours. Yesterday I set up their pool and watched them jump off the back of their John Deere tractor aka the mystery machine yelling "look mom! Watch this!" I listened to my daughter make her first real coo sounds like she has something to say, she has the most beautiful smile. Today I took the three of them to chick fil a. I just sat there and watched my boys eat dipping their chicken in polynesian sauce. I realized that I didn't want to miss these moments and just how lucky I am to have the three of them and the abundance of love I feel for each of them. They are gifts from God that I need not taken for granted and that being their mommy is the most important job I will ever have. I wish I could bottle up their innocence, their joy and love for life.

Addison twirls my hair when she nurses, I simply adore her.Logan calls toenails "nail toes" and I don't correct him because soon enough he will be corrected in preschool and I will never hear his little voice mention needing his nail toes cut. The way austin says mom is so sweet and when he wants something he squints his eyes and talks in a whisper (like I'm going to get you). The endless songs we sing, puzzles and trains we play, the questions that are always coming, the hugs and kisses, the laughter, and endless love will get me through this along with a great husband who says "it's ok to cry" or "I'll do dinner."

Thank you again for reaching out and picking me back up when I was waaaaay down. Love to all. Pictures of my beautiful children coming soon.